10 Tips for Giving Feedback
Create a trusting environment.
Choose a time when you will not be rushed and a place that is comfortable and private. Let them know that it is because you believe in them that you want to share the feedback.
Stick to the facts.
“I’m noticing…” is a great starting place. For example, try using a gentle tone to deliver a simple statement like “I’m noticing that you didn’t meet the deadline.” Sometimes this is enough for someone to open up about their experience and share what might be getting in their way.
Be specific.
Rather than a vague comment such as “You seem to be in a bad mood lately,” stick to specific and concrete examples. “I notice that lately you haven’t been making eye contact with your coworkers and you have stopped using any kind of greeting or salutation in your emails.”
Describe impact.
While it may be tempting to point to a job description, it is more impactful to explain how the positive version of this behavior might impact the company. “Getting this project to the finish line will mean that other departments can begin the next phase of work. Since you have fallen behind, their work is also delayed.”
Don’t make assumptions.
Rather than jump to any conclusions about why this behavior is happening, try to stay neutral and curious. “I would love to better understand what obstacles you might be facing.”
Ask questions.
Try to find out as much as you can about the situation before offering any solutions or suggestions. Use short, powerful questions like “What are your thoughts about this situation?” or “What is getting in the way of your success?” Try to avoid “Why” questions as they can feel accusatory.
Listen more than you speak.
Active listening is a powerful tool. Share your feedback in as concise a way as possible, and then turn your attention to listening. Pay attention to body language, facial expression, intonation and gaze. Stay relaxed in your posture and tone inviting the person to open up.
Ask how you can help.
Offer your sincere support without prescribing. First ask them what they think they need most before offering any potential solutions.
Encourage ongoing communication.
Let them know that you are open to continuing the conversation and lending additional support. If they are sincerely interested in changing behavior, assure them that you know that behavior change can take time and may not be without mistakes.
Conclude by “championing” them.
A “championing” statement shows them you believe in them. For example, “You have done excellent work in many areas. I know that you will be able to master this skill too.”
